so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
