There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
