Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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