I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
