There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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