I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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