This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think I am morally bankrupt
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
