I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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