dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
