I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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