I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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