Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
