So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize