There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
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Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize