the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
