bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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