all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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