is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
