EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
