Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
