what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We are two peas in an std pod
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
