I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
