I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
