question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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