Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
