Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
