Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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