worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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