I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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