We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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