Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
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