im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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