Already got asked if we're dating
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just had sex on a roof
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
