yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
