WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
