she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
