You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Buhtt sex?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize