ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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