I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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