do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
