Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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