thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
