I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
