Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
