wakey wakey hands off snakey
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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