Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
