I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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