Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we made out on top of his cat.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
