pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
