Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize