There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
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is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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