didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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