We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
