Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
