Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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