she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
