we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
