tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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