i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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