my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
