why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
