they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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