yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
