Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
